Welcome to my Blog

Firstly, I'm not sure where I'd like this blog to wind up or how it will be received... or whether it will go anywhere or be received at all for that matter! But I've always wanted to hone my writing skill and keep a journal. I've always wanted to build a community. I hope some of my crazed ramblings might make a difference to someone somewhere.

So I'll start with this. My name is Melissa. I prefer to be called El. I have recently started to see the light on the other side of depression and CPTSD. When this began, it hit me like a ton of bricks and completely crippled me, despite always being the person to push through my own limitations. In this journey of self-discovery, life completely throws us down sometimes. Now I am growing to understand my boundaries, my capabilities, and my goals.

I have been blessed with two wonderful sons, Jaxen (6) and Brennan (2). I want them to lead fulfilling lives in pursuit of their own dreams. They say the best way to lead is by example, so I am pursuing a B.Sc. in psychology online after a long time of not studying. This is my first university experience. It's simply something I've always wanted to do. I've always dreamt of going to university, but even more so I have always wanted to understand myself and those around me better. The human mind, it's motivators and demotivators, and all the tools and capabilities that we as humans have available to us have always fascinated me. So I am excited, but nervous at the same time.

I work remotely from Zimbabwe within the events crewing sector in the UK. My job is basically to speak to clients and coordinate crew on a variety of jobs which could entail anything from moving boxes around to building and breaking festival stages, whilst making sure each crewman's or crewwoman's skillset aptly meets each client's requirements. Every day is different and brings a whole new set of challenges. This aspect of the job literally serenades my ADHD brain. Working with a large number of interesting, vibrant people also inspires me. I work with my boss and his wife, and in a weird way, I feel at home within the company. I don't see myself doing anything else.

I live in Zimbabwe currently, which has its own set of challenges in itself. Zimbabwe's population is well-versed in the art of surrendering as so much is left to the whims of political and financial circumstances beyond anybody's control. Nonetheless, life here is beautiful, natural, and free. We live a life wealthy in terms of experience and I am profoundly grateful every day.